To My Dad: Happy Father's Day

Not a day goes by that I don't miss my dad. An amazing person and a wonderful father, I still can't believe he's gone. Airplanes in the sky, a classic rock song on the radio, the smell of freshly cut grass, my boys playing and laughing together--something, someone reminds me of him every day. While it hurts at times, I am so grateful for these experiences. It keeps him alive for me, reminds me why I love him so much and why I strive every day to be the kind of person he always knew I could be. 

So, to celebrate Father's Day, here are 26 things I remember about my Dad--from A to Z.

A

Air Force. My father was in the Air Force for many years working with their missiles department. 

Artistic. Dad loved to doodle and draw and had a very unique style of drawing. He was always drawing plans for the next project, the next nifty thing he was going to make or build. He would even draw on our paper lunch bags before we left for school.

Dad with me (Heather) and Chad (1985)

B

Bike. My dad LOVED to ride his bicycle and rode a number of centuries. I remember when I was younger  and dad coming home from a long bike ride smelling of sweat and wearing his biking gear.

Dad, Heather, and Chad at Disney World (I think)

C

Creative. Whether it was making dinner, doing school projects, or just playing around, Dad was very creative. Example? He designed and sewed a tree with a snake wrapped around it that would fit over a grown man, and the person inside could control the snake. Way cool.

Cook. He loved to cook. 

Camera. Dad loved to take pictures of anything, but especially his kids. He took religious care of his cameras and especially his lenses which we were, obviously, never allowed to touch. I'm still paranoid about accidently touching the lens on my camera.

Dad, Heather and Chad (1985)

D

Dad. My father loved being a dad. Even when he was tired, he would play with us. He was the one who got in the pool to swim with the kids. He was the one who would push us on the tire swing. He took his calling as father very seriously and every week we would have "interviews" on Sunday where he would meet with each child individually just to check in. We talked about our day, what made us happy, school, the Gospel, everything. 

Dad with Chad, Heather, Amy, and Laura at Knotts Berry Farm, CA

E

Engineer. Dad went to school and became a Mechanical Engineer. You could tell, too, because he loved to build things or take them apart and he always seemed to have some idea as to how everything worked. 

Dad, Chad, Heather, Amy, and Laura at the park

F

Family. He loved his family. He would always talk about his parents, siblings, and his immediate family with love and respect. It was the most important thing to him and it showed.

Dad, Chad, Heather, Amy, and Laura roasting marshmallows on the beach

G

Gospel. Dad lived and breathed the Gospel. He read his scriptures and prayed often. He led us in family prayer and Family Home Evening where he taught us about the Gospel. I never doubted he knew that the Gospel of Jesus Christ was true and he encouraged us to live it in such a way that we wanted to.

Dad and Heather (1983)

Halloween with the Family (1988)

H

Happy. He was always happy. Even when he did have a particularly good day or something was on his mind, he never took it out on us or Mom. He was genuinely happy and it showed.

Dad shaving with Jason

I

Intelligent. There really wasn't a question I asked that he didn't either know the answer to or know how to find the answer. In my young mind, my father was infallible. 

The family with the Allred Grandparents in front of the D.C. Temple

J

Japan. Dad served a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Japan. He learned the language while he was there.

Engagement picture 1980

Dad 1980

K

Kites. Dad loved kites. We built a few together and one of our favorite things to do on a windy weekend was to fly them together.

Knives. Dad had an obsession with pocket knives and collected them. He even designed and made some!

The family in Wright Patterson Air Force Base when Mom graduated from the College of Nursing at Wright State University

L

Love. He was a very loving man. He made sure to tell us that he loved us at every opportunity. He gave us hugs before he left for work each morning, He was affectionate to my mom in front of us. 

Mom and Dad in the Bahamas on our family cruise (2000)

M

Models. He loved to build model airplanes. He would often design his own. I remember going out into the garage at night and he would be working on his airplanes, carefully cutting out the balsa wood and materials he needed. 

The family sending Chad off on his mission to Russia (2000)

N

Nice. He was genuinely nice and kind to everyone he met. Didn't matter if he knew you or not, he was nice to you.

Preparing Thanksgiving meal (2000)

O

Obsessive. Dad was obsessive with things like hanging up your wet towels after you had a shower or not "exercising the car windows" for no reason, or not wearing your shoes in the house. We kids hated it!

Dad and Chad (1984)

P

Priesthood holder. He was a righteous Priesthood holder and took those responsibilities seriously. He gave us blessings when we were sick or at the beginning of a school year, he diligently when Home Teaching, and he fulfilled his Church callings. He was a great example.

Dad and Amy sleeping (1985)

Q

Quiet. I don't remember my dad yelling very often at all. Usually he was very soft-spoken.

Mom and Dad. Chad and Heather on Mother's Day (1984)

R

Resourceful. Dad was an Eagle Scout and loved to do things like camping and hiking. He was great with tents, knots, fires, and cooking outside. If you were camping, you would want him to be there.

Dad and Amy at the Hospital right after Amy was born (1985)

S

Silly. He had the strangest sense of humor and told the most off-the-wall jokes.

Dad and Heather rafting down the river in Florida (1987)

Dad and Heather at the Hospital right after I was born (1983)

T

Tall. Dad was tall. 6 feet 2 inches. That's pretty tall.

Dad and Chad before a camp-out

On my Birthday! (1983)

U

Understanding. I think I could have told my dad just about anything and he would have been very understanding. I remember when I rolled into another car in the parking lot one day and I called Dad crying. I told him I was in an accident and his first question was, "Are you okay?", not "How bad is the car?" 

Dad and Amy

Dad and Chad about to go for a ride

V

Valiant. He stood up for what he believe was right, even when it wasn't easy. I knew I could always trust him to act according to his values, no matter who was watching (or who wasn't).

Dad in the pool with Chad, Heather, Amy, and Laura

Dad blessing one of the kids with Uncle Brad and Grandpa Allred

W

Well-liked. Everyone liked my dad. 

Cutting down our Christmas tree (1989)

Disney World (1989)

X

Extra mile. He never did anything halfway. If he was going to do it, it was going to be done right and would be quality work. It showed in his work away from home and his work inside the home.

Father's Day! (1990)

Dad and Stephen at the Beach in Florida (1990)

Y

The 'Y'. Not only did Mom and Dad meet and marry at BYU, they had Chad and me there as well!

Dad with Chad and Stephen--must have been a long day!

Thanksgiving (1990)

Z

Okay, I don't have anything for Z. I guess it can stand for all that he was that can't be quantified in mere words. 

Getting Pumpkins (1990)

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I miss you more than I have words to say. 

I'm the only one awake, and it's only 9:15 p.m.

George came home from his Plastic Surgery rotation today dragging. He went upstairs after dinner to lay down for about 20 minutes and he has yet to come out. I think he's gone for the night. Lance and Jude are also in bed asleep, so it's just me. The funny thing? I'm sitting at the computer totally at a loss for something to do. So, I decided to tell you about our day.

Started out well. This week I started a new exercise routine and I'm supposed to get up at 6 every morning to do P90X, but of course I fell back asleep after George left at 5:30 for his clinic responsibilities and didn't wake up until 7:30 when Jude AND Lance woke up at the same time. I tried to do it anyway with the boys awake. Mildly successful, although I only got about 25 minutes into the Plyometrics DVD (less than half-way). Honestly, I was glad Lance was hungry and Jude wanted to be held because I was completely wasted, even without finishing. Understandable, I guess, seeing as I haven't really exercised "for real" since last March. It can only get better from here and I'm excited to be doing this program!

After Jude's morning nap we packed up a lunch and our camera and headed over to "The Lawn" on the UVa's campus to have a picnic and take pictures in front of the Rotunda. The picnic was fun, but we postponed our pictures because apparently the pillars on the Rotunda are crumbling and now have these black coverings on the top.



"The Lawn" is really a neat place. Historically it is significant for many reasons, one of them being Edgar Allen Poe used to reside in one of the rooms right on the Lawn. There are several one-room "apartments" running along each side of the lawn that students are allowed to live in, but the application process is rigorous. (The one where Poe lived is on display and not inhabitable.) It's an honor to be chosen to live there. I think it would be hard to live there because you have to leave your room and go outside to get to the shared bathrooms/showers and you can't cook anything in your room because there is no kitchen. They are probably about 10' by 8' each, so pretty much a bed and some closet space. I guess it would be neat to live there for a period of time, just to say you did it. And the lawn is really pretty, so it has it's draws. This is Lance standing on the walkway in front of these rooms:



After our picnic, we picked up a "Virginia" t-shirt for Lance and then walked back to our car that was parked in a lot next to the railroad tracks. Lance wasn't really in the mood to take pictures, but I thought this one looked pretty good:



You can't even tell the tracks run right through downtown Charlottesville and we're right next to several buildings.

The afternoon was filled with Legos and water balloons again. Dinner was Lance's pick--homemade pizza where I cut off some of the dough (yes, we used the rolled up kind from the tube) and Lance rolled out a personal pizza all his own. It's the small things... :)

After dinner we played with Legos again and then Jude took a bath. He LOVES water! I'm not sure if it's taboo to post pictures of a 5 month old baby playing in the tub, but they're pretty PG, so I think I'm okay.







I put about an inch of water in the tub and Jude swims from one end to the other again and again. Bath time is a favorite and a great way to wear him out for bed.

Story time followed. Lance and I read about 7 or 8 books before it was bedtime. It was really nice to just sit down and read together. Jude was already in bed, so it was one-on-one time with Lance. We don't get it that often, so it was a treat. I laid next to him as he fell asleep just chatting and rubbing his back. Priceless.

Now it's my turn. Off to bed!

One week at a time...

Life has been pretty busy. George continues to go to "work" every weekday (attending his various required rotations at the hospital). We miss him a lot. Most days it feels like this...



...wondering where he is and when he'll be home. The boys miss him, too. Every morning when Lance gets up, he asks where DaddyG is and then, when I tell him he's at work, he makes some comment about how his always gone now and why does he have to work so much? I know, son. I miss him, too.

This past week we did get to see more of George, but it was because he was super sick. We spent a while Wednesday morning with him at the Student Health Center trying to figure out why he was so sick. The never really did decide what it was, but treated him for possible tick-borne illnesses. George was pretty miserable and stayed in bed most of Wednesday and Thursday. He finally started to feel better by Friday and has been improving daily, but even today (almost a week later), he's still really tired and not feeling 100%. He's a really good sport, though, and tries to help out with the kids and play with them when he gets home from work. He's amazing and I can't help but love him more and more with each passing day.

This past Thursday, we did a little graduation for the kids in our preschool! A pretty simple affair with paper hats and cupcakes, but the kids were so proud to stand there and receive their "diplomas".

Kendall, Killian, Sara, Ethan, and Lance (Audrey already moved)

We spent a couple hours at the park that day with the kids, putting together books about each child (hand and foot prints, different art projects they did throughout the year, info about each child, etc) while the kiddies played. It's a sprinkler park and they all had a blast running in and out of the water.

Lance, Killian, and Sara

Kendall, Sara, Killian, and Lance

Jude has been enjoying the water more and more and seems pretty non-phased about the sprinklers shooting water at him. He did a great job splashing and playing, but enjoyed resting in the shade as well.



Lance and Jude just love each other and enjoy doing things together. Lance loves trying to pick him up or teach him new things like how to crawl. Jude thinks it's all just hysterical and never laughs harder than when he's interacting with Lance.

What a good big brother, helping you to stand!

After the graduation, the boys and I went to walk Rockney, the black lab we walk about twice a week. His mom is a resident at the hospital and his dad works in Richmond as a lawyer, so we take him on a 30 minute walk during the week whenever they need us to. Lance loves dogs, so this is usually a pretty fun thing for us. Rockney is still a puppy, but he's a great dog. Totally calm and nice, well-behaved and easy to walk. So easy, in fact, that Lance can hold the leash!

As you can tell, he tolerates being loved on by a very energetic little boy and seems to love every second of it. We've really enjoyed walking him this summer. Lance keeps asking for a dog and we've decided we'll probably get one when George starts his residency.

Friday was a fun day. Lance and I got this huge container full of water balloons at Walmart, so we spent a good portion of the afternoon while Jude was napping filling up our balloons and squirting them at each other. We did fill up several to throw, but most of the water ended up on the ground instead of on each other, so we opted for the fill and squirt method. Much more effective.

Jude has been eating a lot more solid foods now and we usually feed him a little container of yummy baby puree at each meal. I'm still nursing him around the clock, but it just doesn't seem to fill him up enough to last for the next feeding. Jude absolutely LOVES food! If you're eating anything, he will squawk like a baby velociraptor until he has something in his mouth, too. What a stinker! He'll eat anything and everything, too, as long as it's soft enough to slurp down. Lance wanted to help feed him Friday afternoon, so I snapped a few pictures. Jude was laughing to hard to really eat and most of it ended up on his bib, but Lance did a good job.



He kept saying, "Jude! Food! Yum! Squash... your favorite!" You know, all the things George and I say when we feed Jude. Just goes to show you: children watch your every move and will imitate everything you do.



Jude thought it was a riot!

Saturday morning we headed over to a friend's house to say good-bye to a family in our ward that is moving away. They've been great friends and we're really going to miss them. Kevin Hughes is an anesthesiologist and just got a fellowship in Boston, so they're on their way this week. I absolutely love this family--happy, kind, always willing to help, and as fun as can be. They will be missed!

Kevin and Jessica Hughes

George and I had been wanting to see the Shrek movie for a while (we saw the very first Shrek movie in High School together) so we called around but no one could babysit on a Saturday night. So, we decided to take the boys.



George was concerned that people would be upset with a baby in the room, but Jude did a great job and the theater was mostly empty anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. Lance kept asking why we were watching this movie and even though he said he didn't like it, the movie sure kept is attention and I heard him laugh out loud throughout, so I think he had a great time. George and I both thought the movie was funny and worth seeing--definitely not as good as the first, but not as bad as the third. After the movie, we all went out and got ice cream and ate it outside. It was a perfect summer evening. On the car ride home, both boys fell asleep and had to be carried to bed. No one got their teeth brushed that night, but in the broad scheme of things, who cares? It was a great day and the best part was we were together as a family.

Sunday was another nice day at Church. George had a meeting after our 3-hour block, so the boys and I sat outside in the shade and talked about what Lance learned in Primary and what we should get his dad and DaddyG for Father's Day. It was nice to just sit and relax.



This morning, this is what met me when I crawled out of bed:



Good morning! I can't imagine a better thing to wake up to. Yes, Jude is currently sleeping in the pack-n-play, but that will change as soon as we move to our new apartment in a month or two. I've been holding out on the crib because I don't want to put it together only to take it down again. Jude doesn't seem to mind.

It was a good week... looking forward to another!

Grown Up?

It's funny. George and I were talking about this the other day. Charlottesville has really started to feel like home for us, to the point that when we're away or visiting our family, it's wonderful to come home--to our home. Sure, we have a great time visiting as always, but there is a kind of relief and calm when we walk in our front door. This is the first time I've ever felt this way about a place other than Ashburn where I grew up. It's not even that my mom moved from our old house were we lived for more than 10 years to a new one, but that my home is now with George, Lance, and Jude. It's a neat feeling: I'm finally grown up with a family of my own. At 27, you'd think I would have had this feeling sooner, but I have to admit, most days I still feel like I'm 17 and I'm almost surprised that I'm married with two kids. Where did the time go? It seems like only a few years ago I was standing up in elementary school telling people what I wanted to be when I grew up... "A veterinarian and a mommy." I fell not too far from the mark--a nurse and a mommy is pretty close.

I don't know if the feeling of being too young will ever go away. Grandma Brewer was telling me a while ago that the spirit still feels 18, it's the body that slows you down. That seems pretty true. Growing up, I always thought adults were mature and knew everything. They were infallible beings capable of anything. The older I get, however, the more I realize we're all just kids with bigger bodies and a larger vocabulary. We don't always have the answers, we're often not very mature, and the age-old adage "mother knows best" is not always true (That last one, however, is a secret between you and me... *wink*).

Lance and I watched a couple family videos the other day of me when I was two years old. I realized for the first time how young my parents looked--I mean, they were only 24 and 26, both younger than I am now. As I watched, I wondered if they then felt like I do now: too young, too inexperienced, too flawed. Mom has often told me how she always wondered, and still does to this day, if many of her choices were the right ones. She used to say, "one day, you'll know how it feels to do your best and pray it's enough." She was right. I've been having those moments more and more often now as I struggle to find the answers for my own family.

Motherhood is interesting--by the time you have things figured out, your chance to raise your children is over. I'm sure I'll be an expert by the time our last child leaves for college, but in the mean time I make mistake after mistake. Maybe that's why mothers of grown children are so keen on giving out advice. It's a way to feel like the knowledge they gained over the years has a purpose. I have a tendency to bristle at the unsolicited advice I receive from various sources, especially when it comes to raising my boys. The ironic thing is that I often feel like a failure on the maternal front, like I'm floundering in the seas of parenthood and when someone throws me a life vest I stubbornly shove it aside and proudly state I can tread water just fine. Perhaps instead I should be asking for advice from the successful mothers in my life.

"Mom...?"

Memorial Day Weekend

Memorial Day weekend was a really fun time! George had the weekend off so we all got in the car and drove up to Northern VA to spend the weekend with our families.

When we got there Saturday afternoon, George's family was in the middle of painting half the main level in their house, so George stayed to help out and the boys and I drove to my Mom's house and went swimming with my brother Jason, sister Laura, and cousin Jacob. Mom came along as the photographer. It was Jude's first time in the pool and while he was a little reserved at first, by the end he was smiling and splashing in the water with the rest of them.

Jude and Grandma by the pool. Jude loves the water!

My boys. Lance is quite the fish now and can't get enough of the pool.

A little hesitant, but willing. He's a trooper. :)

I'm trying to be a "fun" mom and get in the water--even though I hate being cold!

Growing up, I always vowed I'd be a fun Mom like my parents and get in the pool with the kids while they're swimming. True to my word, I hopped in and was so glad I did! We had a blast and it was wonderful to cool off on such a hot, humid day. The only downside was George missed it. Oh well. He was being a good son and helping his dad paint. We'll have more opportunities to swim this summer.

After the pool, George met back up with us and we headed over to Windmill Park in Ashburn to watch the annual Memorial Weekend fireworks. We've gone several years in a row and it's never been a disappointment. As an added bonus, we ran into "Chester" (that's not really his name, but how he's known among the kiddies), the ice cream man that used to patrol George's street as a kid. George has told me many stories about "Chester" and how he was super nice and gave the kids the broken ice cream treats for free. I told George I was going to take his picture with the ice cream guy and he was slightly embarrassed, so I didn't make them pose and managed to snap this candid when George bought popsicles for himself and Lance:

Lance's treat.

Even Jude got to sample the popsicle. Thanks, Daddy! It was funny because Jude had a blue mouth for the rest of the evening and every time I looked at him, I did a double-take because he looked cyanotic. I kept having to remind myself that he was still breathing and the blue wasn't lack of oxygen but dye from the ice cream.

Waiting for the fireworks.

My mom and her husband Glenn (they were married in January!)

Fireworks!

When the fireworks started, Jude took it like he takes everything--surprised curiosity. He watched and watched, but never cried or even looked too concerned. We had a great time! Lance LOVES fireworks and had fun trying to get Jude excited about them, too.

George and Jude enjoying the fireworks.

I love this picture--Jude is trying so hard to see the fireworks and Lance found a perfect perch from which he could enjoy the scene. What a good Daddy!

They were really pretty!

Sunday, we went to Church in the morning and then came back to Heather's Mom's house for lunch. Most of the day was spent relaxing and being with family. George's family continued their painting and we all tried to pitch in to help out.

I think they were looking at a butterfly.

Is Lance trying to shoot the butterfly? Jude seems curious about the gun. Actually, I think Lance was talking about shooting robins and eating them in a pie. Yum?

George and his dad "cutting in" the ceiling and trim before painting the walls.

Oops! Uh, we can fix that later. (George's dad and brother, Nathan)

Monday was another day to just relax. George and I got our hair cut with his brothers and cousin (yes, I chopped off a good 6 inches... still getting used to it). The painting continued and the boys and I hung out. My family was all out of town, some at Kings Dominion and my mom and Glenn in Maryland. We did end up going to the mall to find George some jeans and Lance and I had a great time riding the little train around and getting some candy from the candy store while George looked. We stopped by my mom's house to say goodbye and then drove back home to Charlottesville.

Jude playing in the grass.

We had a great weekend! Happy Memorial Day!

Happy 5 month Birthday, Jude!

Jude turned 5 months old yesterday, June 2nd. Guess what he was doing the night before?

Army crawling!

June 1st--Jude army crawled across our living room floor and around in circles while Lance and I put together this cool robot puzzle we got a yard sale. I had no idea he was so mobile. We started our project on the floor, but when piece after piece kept making it's way in and out of Jude's hands, we decided we needed to postpone our puzzle until Jude was napping. When George came home from his rotation (he's doing ENT surgery now) Jude showed off his new skill for his very proud daddy.

I'll try and post a video if I ever learn how to do it. I can't believe we have a mobile baby on our hands. I thought baby-proofing the house was still a month or two away. It really does seem that the second child grows up faster than the first, and that's saying a lot because Lance was off like a shot! I'm excited to see what other new things Jude learns. It's funny--even though we've been through it all with Lance, it still doesn't get old watching Jude meet all the same milestones. Every time it's a celebration.

I love love love being a mom!